That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.