The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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