I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
