apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize