i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
i now understand why vodka
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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