Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Randomize
