The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
