I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
