Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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