She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I'm too high and old for this...
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
