pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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