The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
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New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
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A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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