her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
