she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Mom said you looked used
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
After tacos, we're chasing women.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
