hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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