I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
