She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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