i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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