Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Never joke about your clitoris.
Randomize