we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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