I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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