i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
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He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
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Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
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