thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Randomize
