I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
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Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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