someone get that fucking seahorse.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
