He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Randomize
