walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize
