Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
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Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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