we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
