note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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