marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Randomize
