ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize