sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Is Oprah even human
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
