im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
