If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Randomize