we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
