Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I just forgot I was standing up.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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