im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
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My ATM looks so different sober.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
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