Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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