and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
