If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
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