And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
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