Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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