talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
