Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
