There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
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if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
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You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
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