Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
