The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
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