only if we run a train.
done.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
