The maid of honor just puked.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
