If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
