ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
