i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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