I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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