1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
We got so high we made milksteak
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
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